Are you familiar with a “Jack and Jill” party? No? Good. Because I don’t suggest you learn about them first hand, unless you want to see how love and marriage can be reduced to the almighty dollar. I have been to several, and not to seem insensitive to those of lesser means, I found them tacky and embarrassing. A Jack and Jill is essentially a wedding shower, however, unlike the traditional bridal shower, it is attended both by the bride, groom, men, and women. Essentially, anyone who wants to come can – the more the better, because the Jack and Jill (sometimes called a stag and doe) is a party and fundraiser to raise cash for the engaged couple. Often, a ticket must be purchased to attend, and all manner of games and activities are to be had, including raffles and the dollar or money dance.

At the last I attended, I had to suffer through a money dance, a ritual that can also be found at some wedding receptions. Here, guests get the opportunity to dance with the bride-to-be for a dollar. After a spin around the dance floor, typically, another male guest cuts in by tapping the shoulder of the man dancing and takes over. After a time, the money accumulates, and our bride can be seen to be gleefully clutching a wad of one dollar bills. At the Jack and Jill I attended some years ago, the groom stood before a microphone after the dance, shaking the bundle of bills in the air while announcing specifically how much had been made, while guests applauded and cheered. I was mortified.

When I was younger, there seemed to be an unabated parade of weddings, showers, and other marriage-related events. Invariably, Jack and Jills were mentioned in a matter-of-fact way, intoned to signify that such a thing was de rigueur. Jack and Jills are behind me now, and although some variety of them may exist somewhere in New York City, I have not heard of them, nor been invited. The only wedding celebrations I witness these days are those that I see in public places – in the streets, in the parks, and coming in and out of churches. If you spend enough time in the parks of New York City, you will invariably encounter wedding parties in photo sessions, particularly Central Park, a perennial favorite.

It is not surprising that couples would want to utilize Central Park as it is replete with romantic, idyllic spots for wedding photos – the Loeb Boathouse, the Bow Bridge, the Shakespeare Garden, Belvedere Castle, Strawberry Fields, Cherry Hill, Cedar Hill, the Pond, the Harlem Meer, Bethesda Terrace, and the Conservatory Gardens. A permit is required for parties over 20 and can be had for $400. On a recent visit to the gardens, a group was galloping down the green with the bride and groom joyfully bounding along with them. Although I did not ask, I expect they had no Jack and Jill 🙂

More weddings: Speaking in Tongues, Just Married, The Perfect Gift, Love Is All Around Part 2