The Story of Jenn Kabacinski, Part 2 (see Part 1 here)

Jenn has been stressing a little bit about her birthday. Today is Jenn’s 30th.

From her first email last week:

My birthday is actually next week. The big 3-0. I know turning 30 won’t change a damn thing about me but I can’t resist complaining about it anyway.

From her second email to me:

My birthday on the 8th. Pee Wee on Broadway on the 10th. [Pee Wee Herman was my high school sweetheart… only he never knew anything about it]. My anniversary on the 11th. I’m excited about everything except the turning 30 part.

What can I tell Jenn to reassure her about aging? That 30 is really young and her whole life is before her? That she can still do virtually anything she wants? All true. But empty words when you hit those mile markers on life’s highway. I won’t lie to you Jenn or insult by giving you the “wisdom” of an older person. I don’t like aging either.

Jenn speaks of her heritage:

My last name is Kabacinski. It’s pronounced how it’s spelled. I didn’t take my husband’s name because I almost find that disrespectful to my dad. I’ll always be my dad’s daughter – married or not. I think the world of him. … I’m a European mutt. Dad’s Polish and German. Mom’s Irish, German, Swedish, Scottish, English, Welsh, and Danish too.

Jenn is no poser. She is as authentic a New Yorker as they come:

I was born and raised in Brooklyn – Gowanus… South Slope… whatever people are calling it now. … My parents were born and raised in Brooklyn. Their parents, if not born and raised in Brooklyn, at least lived here most of their lives. Same neighborhood too actually. So I have Gowanus Brooklyn blood running through these veins.

Jenn is very close to her family:

And I lived with my parents for most of my life. I lived with them until I got married. Even when I moved three blocks away from them, I was there all of the time so I might as well have been paying them rent then too. Ha.

I did the whole move in with the current boyfriend [while dragging my sister along] stint in 2005 but that only lasted the year. I moved back home shortly after the MTA hired me.

I’m super super close with my parents. My mom and I used to joke about us being our version of Grey Gardens if it was just us. And I’m definitely daddy’s little girl even though I’m the oldest.

Her marriage to Anthony:

This is my one and only marriage. I never really believed in monogamy or *love and marriage* in the traditional sense before Anthony. I didn’t think any of that was natural but getting to know him instantly screwed those beliefs all up. I was suggesting to him within that first month that we should get married and three months later, we were in Vegas exchanging vows and rings in front of Elvis.

I ended up moving to Staten Island last year for a few months after Anthony and I got married. He was born in Brooklyn but lived in Staten Island most of his life. I’m a Brooklyn girl at heart but you’re supposed to sacrifice for the ones you love, right? Anyway, I couldn’t take that ferry anymore [I can’t drive] so I kidnapped him and we’ve been back in Brooklyn since June.

Jenn talks of her love of school and work:

I took the 6-year plan in college [I went to Brooklyn College] because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to study. I actually liked school. If I could be a professional student, I would. But I ended up majoring in both Philosophy and Early Childhood Education and minoring in Math. I wanted to teach Pre-K or Kindergarten but the MTA ended up calling me once I graduated. I did tutor and work for summer camps and after school centers but that was all part-time. I loved it but I love money and benefits more so now the MTA owns my soul. I’m a Train Conductor. Yes. I’m that person in the middle of the train opening and closing the doors and making those wonderful announcements.

The MTA also introduced me to my husband [he’s a Conductor also and that’s how I met him] so it makes it all the better. And my sister is actually a Conductor too. We’re taking them over. They just don’t know it yet.

Jenn talks of her appearance:

As for my “goth” look… I don’t know what to say about it. I wouldn’t actually consider myself goth. I wouldn’t actually consider myself anything. How original… I know. It takes me maybe a half hour to put the face on. It used to be more dramatic and colorful years ago but I don’t have the patience for that anymore. I don’t really encounter any problems. Some looks. Some comments. Some bad. Some good. I like it so I’ll continue to do it as long as I do like it. I think it works for me. It doesn’t bother my family as far as I know. My parents are used to it and any other family should be too. My sister’s look is kinda sorta similar so I’m sure they all realize that’s just us by now. And now that I think about it, my mom had that crazy permed poofy 80s hair with the black eyeliner and red lipstick when I was growing up so I guess we can blame my offshoot on her. The look runs in the family. 😉

And her final words to me:

But yes, I think it’s time to get lost in your website for a bit before Anthony gets home from practice. I hope this is what you wanted and I hope it didn’t end up being too wordy. My fingers can get carried away. Thanks again and it was awesome meeting you Brian.

…thanks for giving me the opportunity to ramble about myself. Broads usually love that. And I think you found yourself a new soon to be regular reader of your blog. I did lose myself in it for almost two hours last night. I love reading about your own personal experiences in NYC and abroad and I love how you highlight things that would normally just be overlooked by the typical NYer you find now [that happens not to be an actual NYer]. So thank you again.

Thank you, Jenn, for being so candid and forthcoming and letting the world share the life of a real New Yorker. It was awesome meeting you too. Oh, and Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary from all of us!

The Story of Jenn, Part 1 (See Part 2 here)

There is a very good reason this story must be told TODAY, before Monday, when I will reveal why.

I was at a concert October 23rd in Tompkins Square Park featuring a number of bands, including David Peel. Scanning the sparse crowd, the photo subject du jour was immediately obvious – a Goth Girl accompanied by a Man in Black.

Just take a photo – you don’t need permission. This is a public park, many are taking photos, and certainly a woman that looks like this must be somewhat of an attention hound.

Yes, but to take a photo or two at close range is a bit awkward. This is not a crowd shot – it will be very obvious you are taking her photo. And if you get her cooperation, not only will you be comfortable taking more photos, you will also feel better as a human and will likely have an opportunity to chat about her appearance.

So I decided to approach the couple and ask if they minded if I take photos. The response was an immediate “Us? Sure!” A few photos later, and we were on to the interview portion of the afternoon. I had already made a number of assessments – she was a rebel, not particularly well-employed or educated, and perhaps a resident of the East Village.

The Man in Black, Anthony, told me that in fact they were married. Surprise number one. I asked him if his wife, Jenn, looks like this just for special occasions. He told me that she looks like this “pretty much all the time.” To which I thought, where does this person work, if at all? At an East Village boutique? I was not interested in tempering my inquiry, so I just asked Jenn, “Do you work?” “Yes” “Where do you work?” (wanting to add “looking like that”) “I AM A SUBWAY CONDUCTOR”

WOW. Of course – what better place for a Morticia lookalike to work than the subterranean depths of New York City. “Do they care that you look like this?” “Not at all.” Perfect. And her husband, Anthony? ALSO A SUBWAY CONDUCTOR. The MTA is where they met. A friend in tow was a conductor too. Jenn’s sister is a subway conductor. They’re taking over.

I still had many unanswered questions about her childhood, family life, where she grew up, her education, etc. Jenn agreed to continue the dialog by email. I emailed Jenn with a number of questions on October 28.

I was very disappointed however. My email to her was not answered (nor bounced back). Six days later, on November 3, and after giving up, I finally received a response explaining that my email had found its way into a spam folder, similarly to my experience with Driss Aqil.

Jenn provided not just answers but an 840-word biography. A simple follow-up question returned a 540-word clarification. I now had enough material for a documentary. Everyone has a life story. But this is Jenn’s, and like many New Yorkers, it’s has many surprises and some edge. With a Special Event on Monday… (see Part 2 here)