• Category Archives Extreme NYC
  • Abandon All Preconceived Notions Ye Who Enter Here

    The Story of Mark Birnbaum, Part 1.   (See Part 2 here.)


    There are many outlandishly dressed characters in New York City. I find the extreme cases rather sad – to me, they appear like a cry for love and attention from a lonely person reaching out. I have seen some of these as regulars at multiple parades where their outfits are completely inappropriately themed, appearing at the Easter, Halloween and Mermaid parades, dressed in the same attire.

    Yet I have been proven wrong in my judgement more times than not, inspiring a series of stories Abandon All Preconceived Notions Ye Who Enter Here – the title being more self-talk than admonition to others.

    I had caught a glimpse of the man in today’s photo just a few times, always walking with a very slow, deliberate, confident gait. I quickly characterized him as the Mad Hatter incarnate, likely a deranged, pathetic, lunatic. At one time, I had taken a photo of him leaving a park. It was blurry and unusable, but just as well, since I had no opportunity to speak to him and find out who he was. I don’t feature anonymous individuals and brand them as lunatics. Another time perhaps.

    Another time presented itself in the most remarkable circumstance. On Friday evening while strolling home from work, I crossed Houston Street, the largest crosstown street in Manhattan. It looks and functions virtually like a divided highway with a landscaped median. At the end of one median at West Broadway, a park bench has been installed in what can easily be argued as one the most visible and inauspicious places. It is unimaginable that anyone would want to sit between 6 lanes of traffic, whooshing by in two directions. I have never seen it used.

    But there he was, carefully composed sitting on a bench, a photo begging to be taken. Brightly colored hair extensions, an enormous mad hatter style hat, face paint, necklaces with skulls and bones, heavy gloves on a hot day, a sport jacket with no shirt, a knotted tuft of hair under his chin, his enormous signature silver-glittered platform boots, a cane and smoking a cigar. Calm, cool and collected.

    Approaching someone like this can be very tricky with unpredictable response. So far my experience has only been positive – I have concluded that anyone so outlandishly dressed is certainly not averse to attention and quite used to others taking photos. See the list of links below which feature profiles of some of the most interesting individuals I have encountered in my travels in New York City: Ferris Butler, Professor Robert Gurland, Gaby Lampkey, Jenn Kabacinski, Driss Aqil, Susan Goren, the Creative Expert, the Swaggertist in Blue, Hector, the Misfits, Jim Vehap, Walid Soroor, Flamboyant, Todd Bentley, AndrĂ©, Dave, Reverend Billy, the Dance Parade, Narcissism Gone Wild, and Spike.

    Although permission to take a photo in a public place to be used for editorial purposes is not legally necessary, I prefer to seek the consent and cooperation of subjects when they are featured in a story. So, I opted to ask permission. His response “of course” was surprising. He was extraordinarily cordial and a small mini-photoshoot ensued. He was so accommodating, I decided take a seat next to him.

    An hour and a half passed, interrupted by the myriad of passengers and pedestrians stopping to take photos. I could see that if one is interested in drawing attention, dressing like this and sitting on a bench on Houston Street will certainly achieve that. I recorded over 40 minutes of a conversation so engaging, that at its end, my companion said “we rocked.” It was a real life My Dinner With AndrĂ© meets Alice in Wonderland, New York City style.

    In Part 2, you will meet Mark Birnbaum. Trust me – he is not the man you think he is at all…

    Note: To those who have asked, Mark’s shoes were purchased at Trash and Vaudeville.

    Related Posts: Ferris Butler Part 1, Professor Gurland Part 1, Jenn Kabacinski Part 1, On the Road, Fashion Forward


  • Stopped In My Tracks


    In New York City, vagaries define the special. There is nothing more appealing than the lack of specific information or the secret. We just love “there’s this guy” or “there’s this place” with a lack of precise information as to where. Particularly in our current time, nothing is more unappealing to a New Yorker than a place that is part of a national brand or regional chain and has been marketed and branded to death.

    No one wants what everyone else has or wants to shop at places everyone knows about. This is at the heart of “being the best,” an obsession in New York City. How can something be one of New York’s best if it is part of a national franchise? Street cred for a business has to start with a minimum requirement of existing only in New York. The problem, however, is that unique places and services are fast disappearing. In the span of this website’s existence, many iconic places I have written about have gone out of business.

    I have even experienced a holding back of information, as if to be worthy of the knowledge, one must venture forth and ferret out a person or place’s whereabouts on one’s own. No pain, no gain. This holding back is often justified in that overexposure may ruin a business’s character. Although this may be true, I think the real motive stems more from selfishness – those desiring the special want if for themselves. After all, how special can it be if everyone knows about it?

    The shoe shiner is a perfect candidate for the New Yorker’s lust for “there’s this guy.” By their nature, those involved in the business are sole operators and are often transient. In New York City, one should never underestimate the potential of any activity if done by an astute, aggressive, streetwise individual that can promote him or herself. Transient does not equal unsuccessful. Don Ward is a good example (not the man in today’s photo). Located at 47th Street and 6th Avenue, Don has been shining shoes for over 20 years. He does an average of 50 customers per day at $5 per shine plus tips. This man has interesting insights*, aggressive solicitation and clever patter. He is quite the character and a bit of a celebrity, reminiscent of the Gentlemen Peeler (see my story here).

    I have never felt comfortable with shoe shining. Although it is, perhaps, no worse than someone doing your laundry, shining shoes seems so transparently servile, too close to kissing someone’s feet. Perhaps it is my French ancestry rearing its head. In an article from the New York Times in 2008, The Politics of the Shoe Shine, Roger Cohen writes:

    Broadly speaking, there are two kinds of societies: those where you can get a shoe shine and those where you can’t. France falls into the latter category. Search Paris high and low for a seat to kick back and se faire cirer les bottes: you’ll search in vain. There’s something about the idea of having someone stooped at the feet of a client applying polish to his or her boots that rubs the Gallic egalitarian spirit the wrong way. It’s just not what 1789 was about.

    In the United States, of course, it’s a different story. Unlike humor, which is in short supply, or banned, a shoe shine is freely available at U.S. airports. Walk a few Manhattan or Chicago blocks and someone will be there to make your shoes gleam. There’s something about having someone applying polish to a blithe client’s boots that comforts American notions of free enterprise, make-a-buck opportunism, and the survival of the fittest.

    Nonetheless, on my way to the Metro-North train on Saturday, I could not help but be stunned by what I saw entering Grand Central Terminal. It was like a still frame from an old film set in New York City. Everything was perfect – two men alone on a quiet morning, the customer reading a paper while the shiner plied his trade, both basking in the yellow-orange sunlight streaming in. The whole scene gave me chills. Like the train that awaited me on track 24, I was Stopped In My Tracks

    *From Don: “Ninety-nine percent of the time, women will look at your shoes and immediately dismiss you if they’re below standard. If you can’t keep your shoes looking decent, you can’t do anything else.” “If you can’t take care of this one small detail, I’d hate to see your living conditions.”

    Related Posts: One Size Too Small, Urban Road Warrior, Very Resilient, Entombed, Uggly or Not, Mania, Just Passing Through, Camper, Grand Central


  • Float Master, Part 2

    Anything Can Happen (See Part 1 here)

    If you want to explore what New York City has to offer, you will have to mingle among the people. Unfortunately, this means all the people, regardless of income, hygiene, scrupulousness, or sanity. Unless you make an extraordinary effort at insulation, you will encounter the broadest range of haves and have-nots imaginable on the streets, in the subways, shops, restaurants, parks, and festivals.

    In just the last five years authoring this website, I have encountered: a woman with a rat resting on her shoulder under her matted dreads, a man who pushes the limits of gender and fashion, a woman who eats bugs for a living at the Coney Island Sideshow, Walid Soroor – an Afghani Rock Star, an Alaskan Tlingit Indian musician on the road for 10 years, women who wear rooster feathers as fashion, Jenn – a very gothic woman whose circle of family and friends are subway conductors, Dr. Robert Gurland – a Professorial superstar, Will Galison – an unassuming guitar player who I later learned is legendary with an entire wikipedia entry of credits, Ferris Butler – a man who redefines quirky and is likely the inspiration for the film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, a man wearing militaristic regalia with a solitary spike of hair, a tattooed and pierced ex-marine sporting plaid shorts who at one time was pursuing a masters in theology, an Albino Burmese Python slithering on the street, Water Sprites, an Urban Wood Nymph and an older man so grotesquely tattooed and pierced that I could not bring myself to photograph him.

    On one occasion, I stopped to talk to a homeless man who was collecting bottles, acknowledging how his task of collection and redemption appeared to be rather exhausting. Angrily, he replied, “Don’t patronize me.” Gotcha. I was guilty as charged. Here, beware of the homeless, who are often educated, intelligent, astute, sometimes insane, and/or angry and frustrated.

    A peaceful afternoon in the park or strolling the streets, may or may not be peaceful. If you play chess at the various parks, expect every manner of kibitzing and trash talk. Or, as I once witnessed, someone drawing a gun and firing it at someone previously involved in a drug deal to even the score, with only a momentary break in playing the game – see Chess Monsters here.

    If you are going to street perform in New York City, you had better be prepared for every manner of intrusion and disruption, including but not limited to verbal abuse, physical assault, or being upstaged by a lunatic. During the breakdancing show (see Part 1 here), a man from the crowd became very animated by the music and performers. I have no idea why he was wearing a full-length white fur in the middle of April, nor why nearly every article of his wardrobe was white. As he began to dance, the audience egged him on, and with little encouragement, he did his best at an impromptu performance:

    Although some may see the display as an effort to upstage, John Rich and his posse looked on in amusement, realizing that this was just another day in New York City, where, Float Master or not, Anything Can Happen 🙂

    Related Posts: Ferris Butler Part 1, Professor Gurland Part 1, Gaby Lampkey Part 2, Jenn Kabacinski Part 1, Birds of a Feather Tied Together Part 1, Fashion Forward


  • Crooks and Perverts


    On November 17, 1973, during a televised question and answer session with the press, President Richard Nixon said:

    People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I’m not a crook. I’ve earned everything I’ve got.

    Crook is a bit outdated, the kind of word you may have heard around my home during my childhood, along with other words like floozy, gallivanting, tramp and shindig. Today, a crook seems rather benign, perhaps someone prone to petty crimes like swindling a customer or shoplifting.

    In a world of alternative lifestyles and extreme behaviors, pervert is also much less meaningful than it once was, bordering on the quaint.

    Coming up with a good name for a music group is difficult – akin to finding a catchy dotcom not yet registered. There are inanimate objects – The Doors, The Cars and Rolling Stones; insects – The Beatles, The Crickets, The Hornets, Iron Butterfly, Adam Ant, Hungry Locust, Spiders from Mars; automobiles – R.E.O.Speedwagon, The Cadillacs, The BelAirs, Fleetwood Mac; animals – The Monkees, The Animals, The Byrds, The Eagles, The Turtles, Stone Ponies, The Black Crowes. The categories, single word names and simple phrases are endless, including the vulgar, irreverent, angry, defiant, lovely, ironic and nonsensical – The Sex Pistols, Led Zeppelin, Leftöver Crack, Pavement, Mötley CrĂĽe, et. al.

    When I first heard Crooks and Perverts play, they immediately exuded a feeling of authenticity. When I spoke to them, I learned that their members are from Georgia. They have a unique blend of authentic southern roots, rough country boys with an urban sensibility and musical sophistication – I recently saw them in Matt Umanov Guitars sampling the wares.

    However, regardless of changing times and mores, I would still be wary of anyone who calls themselves a crook or pervert 🙂

    Note: Crooks and Perverts are now based in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, and can be seen playing the streets of New York City. You can find their website here with music samples, videos, etc.

    Related Posts: The Real Peel, Tired of Crumbs, Street Poet, Makes Me Stronger, Famine and Feast, Sieve, Street Magic


  • One Word 2


    Perhaps one of the most prescient pieces of business advice ever given in a film, and certainly one of the most enduring lines in film history, is that which is said to Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate. In this scene, Ben is chatting with a few women at his college graduation party, when Mr. McGuire comes to take Ben outdoors for a serious private talk:

    Mr. McGuire (to Ben): Come with me for a minute. I want to talk to you. Excuse us Joanne.

    [Mr. McGuire takes Ben to the back yard of the house to the pool area.]

    Mr. McGuire: I just want to say on word to you, just one word.

    Ben: Yes, sir.

    Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?

    Ben: Yes I am.

    Mr. McGuire: Plastics.

    Ben: Exactly how do you mean?

    Mr. McGuire: There’s a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?

    Ben: Yes, I will.

    Mr. McGuire: Shhh … ’nuff said. That’s a deal.

    The word plastics has never had a positive connotation, always tainted in some way. At the time of the film in the 1967, there was a sense that plastics were part of the space age. However, it was also commonly used to mean fake, phony or artificial and hated by many, as author Norman Mailer said in an interview: “Plastic is the excrement of oil.” Although not really a scathing work, Mailer endorsed the book Plastic: The Making of a Synthetic Century.

    Today, specific plastics are promoted for their strength, performance and/or special properties in particular applications – polymers such as Lexan, Delrin, Kevlar, Teflon, Cordura Nylon, Gore-Tex, Viton, silicone, polyurethane, etc. However, when used generally, the word plastics brings up images of a world mired in plastic bags, bottles and other waste.

    In today’s photo, we have a solution to plastics recycling as well as rain gear, occasionally seen among the homeless in New York City. This man had crafted a very extensive wardrobe that appears to be extremely well suited for a day of predicted rain during a very wet spring. His possessions were neatly packed in bags, also made from plastic. Whether seen as a cultural metaphor, an icon of evil by Mr. Mailer, a promising future by Mr. McGuire or used as an impromptu raincoat, all agree on the importance of One Word 🙂

    Related Posts: We Don’t Do Windows, Released From Captivity, One Word, Rosenwach Wood Tanks, Caught, Canal Rubber


  • Really Long Shoes

    Posted on by Brian Dubé

    I have always been envious of horses who can sleep standing up. As I have tried to cram more into my life, I have contemplated for years how useful it would be to acquire the ability to sleep while standing. In addition to the short naps one may take at various times and places while sitting, now, sleep could be had while in the most inauspicious circumstances.

    And one can certainly learn to tune out the environment, even in New York City. I recall attending a talk where a well known yoga master was speaking of relaxation and meditation. He was making the point that the conditions for relaxation did not depend on a serene environment – he cited the enormous number of people that sleep on the streets of Calcutta daily, oblivious to the world around them.

    Add sleep deprivation and exhaustion to facilitate sleeping in atypical places and positions. I once read about patients complaining to a doctor that they were at wit’s end because they constantly felt sleepy. Upon inquiring about their sleep habits, the physician would typically learn that the patient was only getting a few hours per night. The remedy was simple – they were sleep deprived and just needed to sleep more.

    I have of late been guilty of getting too little sleep. I find myself falling asleep in places – like sitting up in restaurants, sometimes woken by food being served. Or at my desk in my office, home, or in parks. Or worse – while driving. As a child, I went through a period of occasional sleep walking, good early training for a life of too much to do and not enough time to do it. So, in one way or another, sleep has been one part of my multitasking activities – whether attempting to walk and talk while sleeping or sleep while working, dining or driving.

    I have never seen a more convincing and peculiar example of sleeping while standing than our photo subject in today’s photo. A feat that many deem impossible seems to have been achieved by just a handful of adaptations – super long shoes to provide a good base and what appears to be a horrific posture evolved over time to become S-shaped, providing a place to rest one’s head, much like the flamingo who sleeps standing on one leg. This man was taking catnips while onlookers stared in disbelief. While awake, his posture was not markedly different, seeming always to be poised for the next nap.

    I think I am ready now. Inspired by our photo subject, I see that what I thought was impossible may be possible. I only need to undo all the learning and efforts of others to maintain good posture. And I think you have to have a pair of really long shoes 🙂

    Posted on by Brian Dubé

  • That Should Cover It

    On Sunday, April 17, two photographer friends and I were strolling in Washington Square Park where a man suddenly appeared with an enormous leashed iguana, which he proceeded to walk on the lawn. As we were taking photos, the owner became immediately hostile, demanding $3. We stopped. One of our group, however, pointed out that this was a public park and there were no restrictions regarding photography.

    This was not my first encounter with someone who displayed exotic pets in the parks of New York City. In 2006, I featured a story and photos about a man with a small trio of exotic animals that he marketed as photo ops to passersby (see Snake Charmer here). I also once witnessed a large Albino Burmese Python, slithering along in Central Park (see here).

    But I had suspicions regarding the iguana owner’s edginess – that he might have had some concern other than losing potential modeling fees for his critter. I never did investigate the laws regarding exotic pets in the city. A quick search and I learned that housing an iguana as a pet is a violation of the New York City Health Code. There is so much rumor mongering and misinformation in life, I have decided to reprint the code here in its entirety, exactly as written, directly from the New York City government website. So here, in the spirit of Everything No, is article 161.01 – Wild Animals Prohibited:

    (1) All dogs other than domesticated dogs (Canis familiaris), including, but not limited to, wolf, fox, coyote, hyena, dingo, jackal, dhole, fennec, raccoon dog, zorro, bush dog, aardwolf, cape hunting dog and any hybrid offspring of a wild dog and domesticated dog.

    (2) All cats other than domesticated cats (Felis catus), including, but not limited to, lion, tiger, leopard, ocelot, jaguar, puma, panther, mountain lion, cheetah, wild cat, cougar, bobcat, lynx, serval, caracal, jaguarundi, margay and any hybrid offspring of a wild cat and domesticated cat.

    (3) All bears, including polar, grizzly, brown and black bear.

    (4) All fur bearing mammals of the family Mustelidae, including, but not limited to, weasel, marten, mink, badger, ermine, skunk, otter, pole cat, zorille, wolverine, stoat and ferret.

    (5) All Procyonidae: All raccoon (eastern, desert, ring-tailed cat), kinkajou, cacomistle, cat-bear, panda and coatimundi.

    (6) All carnivorous mammals of the family Viverridae, including, but not limited to, civet, mongoose, genet, binturong, fossa, linsang and suricate.

    (7) All bats (Chiroptera).

    (8) All non-human primates, including, but not limited to, monkey, ape, chimpanzee, gorilla and lemur.

    (9) All squirrels (Sciuridae).

    (10) Reptiles (Reptilia). All Helodermatidae (gila monster and Mexican beaded lizard); allfront-fanged venomous snakes, even if devenomized, including, but not limited to, all Viperidae (viper, pit viper), all Elapidae (cobra, mamba, krait, coral snake), all Atractaspididae (African burrowing asp), all Hydrophiidae (sea snake), all Laticaudidae (sea krait); all venomous, mid-or rear-fanged, Duvernoy-glanded members of the family Colubridae, even if devenomized; any member, or hybrid offspring of the family Boidae, including, but not limited to, the common or green anaconda and yellow anaconda; any member of the family Pythonidae, including but not limited to the African rock python, Indian or Burmese python, Amethystine or scrub python; any member of the family Varanidae, including the white throated monitor, Bosc’s or African savannah monitor, Komodo monitor or dragon, Nile monitor, crocodile monitor, water monitor, Bornean earless monitor; any member of the family Iguanidae, including the green or common iguana; any member of the family Teiidae, including, but not limited to the golden, common, or black and white tegu; all members of the family Chelydridae, including snapping turtle and alligator snapping turtle; and all members of the order Crocodylia, including, but not limited to alligator, caiman and crocodile.

    (11) Birds and Fowl (Aves): All predatory or large birds, including, but not limited to, eagle, hawk, falcon, owl, vulture, condor, emu, rhea and ostrich; roosters, geese, ducks and turkeys prohibited or otherwise regulated pursuant to § 161.19 of this Code, the Agriculture and Markets Law or applicable federal law.

    (12) All venomous insects, including, but not limited to, bee, hornet and wasp.

    (13) Arachnida and Chilopoda: All venomous spiders, including, but not limited to, tarantula, black widow and solifugid; scorpion; all venomous arthropods including, but not limited to, centipede.

    (14) All large rodents (Rodentia), including, but not limited to, gopher, muskrat, paca, woodchuck, marmot, beaver, prairie dog, capybara, sewellel, viscacha, porcupine and hutia.

    (15) All even-toed ungulates (Artiodactyla) including, but not limited to, deer, antelope, sheep, giraffe and hippopotamus.

    (16) All odd-toed ungulates (Perissodactyla) other than domesticated horses (Equus caballus), including, but not limited to, zebra, rhinoceros and tapir.

    (17) All marsupials, including, but not limited to, Tasmanian devil, dasyure, bandicoot, kangaroo, wallaby, opossum, wombat, koala bear, cuscus, numbat and pigmy, sugar and greater glider.

    (18) Sea mammals (Cetacea, Pinnipedia and Sirenia), including, but not limited to, dolphin, whale, seal, sea lion and walrus.

    (19) All elephants (Proboscides).

    (20) All hyrax (Hydracoidea).

    (21) All pangolin (Pholidota).

    (22) All sloth and armadillo (Edentata).

    (23) Insectivorous mammals (Insectivora): All aardvark (Tubildentata), anteater, shrew, otter shrew, gymnure, desman, tenrec, mole and hedge hog.

    (24) Gliding lemur (Dermoptera).

    I think that should cover it 🙂


  • Irony Candy

    For an insightful view into the soul of New York City, turn to its comics. If their material really resonates with you, then you’re a New Yorker, if not by address, then in spirit. Some, like Woody Allen, are virtual spokespeople for all that is New York. Shows like Seinfeld capture the essence of city life, right down to the minutiae. One of my favorite New York City comics is Todd Barry. His has a brilliant, understated style, characterized with the necessary ingredients – smug indifference, cynicism, skepticism, sarcasm. Todd effectively illustrates the irony of the high priced accoutrement of defiance in a routine about Kmart coming to New York City:

    Some New Yorkers were pissed off when Kmart came to town. They were outside the store protesting. They didn’t even know what to say. They were like, ‘Down with Kmart and their merchandise that people can afford. Down with Kmart and their 300 gallon drum of laundry detergent for 99 cents. Why don’t you go take your good values to another town?’ Let’s turn that building into a vintage clothing store. The kind that sells used Kmart shirts for $700.

    I had a similar insight in the early 1970s when I saw Jefferson Airplane at the Fillmore East. They were singing one of their popular hits about revolution, Volunteers. Somehow it seemed hypocritical or perhaps to be a bit nicer about it, filled with apparent contradiction. This group had money – limos, mansions, etc. and their lifestyle did not seem to bespeak of those revolting against the world order and materialism. But when the spokesperson is generally perceived as cool, they can get away with a lot of contradiction. On April 8, 2008, I wrote a story called Unguent, about the effects of money: “Money is like an unguent and when applied liberally, it usually is absorbed readily with predictable effects. It doesn’t appear that one has to rub the salve that hard or long to take off most edges.”

    We see that irony replayed here at Search and Destroy at 25 St. Marks Place, with underground, subculture and vintage punk clothing and goods being sold for a king’s ransom. Whether a shopper sees irony or not with merchandise priced as luxury items and taglines like “chaotic and anarchy” or “dangerous clothing store”, explains the wildly disparate ratings at a site like Yelp.com that go from 1 to 5 stars. Many bristle at what they consider outrageous pricing and others appreciate the merchandise, some apparently difficult to find.

    I have zero knowledge regarding the products I saw there – it was primarily eye candy for me. Or perhaps we should say, Irony Candy 🙂


  • They Are a-Changin’


    I grew up in a quite conservative New England environment – a place and a time where homosexuality was completely invisible. However, once moving to New York City in 1969 and settling in Greenwich Village, I was immediately exposed to a relatively open world of gays. At first, it was shocking and a little unsettling. See my story No Red Faces here. However, in a short time, I was educated at Sidewalk University and came to see homosexuality as just a fact of life, a part of the human condition, across cultures, and going back as long as humans have been on planet earth. My education came from many sources, including association with gays and my employment of a number of gay individuals in my business. What is puzzling is the continuing hostility towards gays and the struggle for gay rights.

    Anyone exposed to members of the gay community knows that the breadth of personalities mirrors that in the straight community. Yes, there are gays who are quite outlandish in their dress and manner, however, just examining the stories in the website alone should be ample evidence that the flamboyant is not the exclusive domain of either the gay or straight community. The annual gay parade, like any parade, is self selective – many parade participants will be that small number who are more exhibitionistic by nature. I would hope the straight community is not judged by the drunken revelry found in the annual Santacon.

    However, even at this juncture in time in New York City, I still see a fair amount of polarization of the straight and gay communities with minimal involvement of one group within the other. Some are concerned, and rightly so, that being an advocate of one lifestyle implies hostility towards the other. The small group of marchers who met in Washington Square Park on Sunday, Straight without Hate, were a new twist on sexual orientation advocacy.

    In my own large extended family, we have, like most, learned over recent years of a number of gays. Only one cousin has been open with me about this. The last I spoke to him, he had moved to Manhattan. The rest still live in a shroud of secrecy and embarrassment with quiet gossip. Sad, as I am sure this is stressful and a heavy cross to bear for them, their families and friends.
    No reason to resist, because as always, the times they are a-changin’


  • The Perfect Gift

    In 1978, High Tech: The Industrial Style and Source Book for The Home, written by design journalists Joan Kron and Suzanne Slesin, was published. This and White By Design were two hardcover coffee table books that I frequently saw in bookstores and promised myself I would buy but never did. The raison d’etre of the Hi Tech design movement is seen as an evolution of the scientific and technical advances of the 1970s and abundance of high-tech devices in common use, leading to the appropriation of industrial and technical products in the home. The book was seminal and influential in use of the term Hi Tech – read more about it here.

    As a manufacturer for many decades, I found the use of the Hi Tech products in the home to be appealing for other reasons as well – the generally superior construction and cleaner, simpler design of industrial or commercial products. Those who use products in a commercial environment typically value function over form and durability over anything else. The foolishness of saving a few dollars purchasing equipment quickly becomes apparent when having to stop the wheels of production. Someone in business simply needs products that work well and reliably. And although aesthetics does not typically drive the design of commercial equipment, it does evolve towards the simplest form and construction that does the job properly. Often, this design becomes iconic and attractive from a minimalist perspective. One example is the bullet styled garbage can in stainless steel.

    Industrial elements have other appeals. Around New York City, in the outer fringes and edges, one will often find photo shoots with fashion models superimposed over gritty or industrial urban backdrops. The juxtaposition of the very disparate elements is quite effective in making the subject stand out.

    All this considered, I was stunned to see the couple in today’s photos under the Manhattan Bridge on a freezing cold January day. The wedding is still a rather traditional affair, and this was an extremely radical departure from the ever popular New York City locales used for wedding photo shoots, such as Central Park on a beautiful spring or summer day.

    I wish I was friends with this couple because I have such the perfect wedding gift that I really think they would love: a set of two books – Hi Tech and White by Design 🙂

    Note: For more White by Design, go here and here.


  • Just Don’t Stick

    There’s nothing like a good dream to pique the interest of a therapist, analyst, or anyone psychoanalytically inclined. And there’s no dream like a nightmare – this is where they love to dig in. And when it comes to bad dreams, the top ten list must include being chased by something (known or unknown), Sleep Paralysis, or being naked or nearly naked in public.

    Although I have no particular fear of being scantily clad in public, I have, like many, had my share of dreams where for some inexplicable reason, I find myself in public only in my underwear and have to find my way home.
    It’s that feeling of vulnerability with nowhere to hide which is so particularly horrible and also for me a huge frustration – how did I end up in this predicament and why didn’t I just grab a pair of pants before leaving? Then there is the wishful thinking that, somehow, you can navigate home and no one will notice.

    Last night, conveniently, I had a very bad dream involving this ever popular theme of exposure and vulnerability. I was driving in my car with a customer whom I have known for years and who can be particularly rude, thoughtless, and inclined to engaging in cruel fun. I was traveling with a brand new electric guitar on the passenger’s seat while he was in rear. I had a momentary lapse of consciousness which allowed him to hang the guitar from the exterior of the car while traveling. To my horror, upon examination, the guitar was terribly scratched and gouged, rendering it essentially worthless. His defense was some feeble excuse, attempting to mask his brand of fun.

    Sunday, January 8th, 2011, was the 10th annual The No Pants Subway Ride, a prank event organized by New York City’s Improv Everywhere, who call it a celebration of silliness. This event is not to be confused with the variant No Pants Day, also an annual event, occurring on the first Friday in May. Both are now international events with participants in cities worldwide. In New York’s subway event, participants enter the subway at a number of different points, acting like they do not know each other and traveling in the same casual manner as any other rider. If asked why they are not wearing pants, they typically respond that they forgot. The members convened at Union Square where these photos were taken. Subsequently, some went shopping at Filene’s (see photos on escalator).

    Arrests have been made in the past, with charges thrown out. Although public nudity is illegal (indecent exposure), being pantless in underwear is not a crime (see the Naked Cowboy here), and at least with these people, you will find that charges of disorderly conduct, like their pants, just don’t stick 🙂

    Afterthought: Perhaps if everyone participated, we could inure ourselves to pantlessness and rid ourselves of at least one genre of bad dream. On the other hand, I am sure the subconscious mind would just find some new flavor of vulnerable activity.


  • Hide and Seek, Show and Tell


    There’s a brilliant and frustratingly absurd Monty Python comedy sketch called Olympic Hide and Seek. One competitor is allowed to travel by any means and hide anywhere in the world while the other competitor counts to one thousand, then begins to search. Winning times are over 11 years.

    Whether you are in the real world or that of Monty Python, if you are looking for hide and seek activities which are not mainstream, success is usually found in the geographical edges and neglected fringes. The balloon of conformity and mainstream behavior presses the unconventional and unaccepted into the edges, corners, fringes, and remote hinterlands of the landscape.

    Look at the large gay communities in the United States. Many are located in remote or isolated areas – Key West, Florida, Provincetown, Massachusetts, and the West Village. Even in Fire Island (which is beautiful), the predominantly gay communities are located geographically out of the mainstream – Cherry Grove and Fire Island Pines.

    However, once an area becomes more well known as an enclave for the unconventional, hide and seek often becomes show and tell. And there is no better example than the Standard. This hotel was developed by Andre Balázs and straddles over the High Line, an elevated park created from an abandoned elevated railway, 1.45 miles long, in the west side of Manhattan (see here). The hotel itself is located in the stretch in the far West Village near the meat packing district, what has become one of the trendiest neighborhoods in New York City.

    The place became a scandal with a flurry of media coverage in July of 2009. There were reports of nudity and every manner of lewd activity displayed in the windows of the hotel, including shooting of porn films and couples having sex. The exhibitionist activities were actually encouraged by the management, even putting in writing on their Facebook page:

    “We encourage you to exercise your inner exhibitionist,” and their website asks, “Whatever you do, just make sure the shots are HOT and that you get them to us in whichever way you can. It’s all about sex all the time, and you’re our star.”

    After public and neighborhood outcry over the “peep show”, the hotel removed the explicit encouragements and tried to tone things down. If this is the kind of thing you’re looking for, explore the outer fringes and there is where you will find the world of Hide and Seek, Show and Tell 🙂


  • Sirens of Convenience

    I had a friend, Steve, with whom I shared the same sense of humor. Over time, we developed shtick that we enjoyed doing at every opportunity. One involved the creation of a character who did not care about money – a blowhard, someone like Ralph Cramden of the Honeymooners TV Series who has little but flaunts what he has to appear to be a big man.

    Any time we were together, Steve would typically bring out this character without warning for maximum effect. “Mr. DubĂ©, I don’t care about money. I throw it away. In fact, here’s some money now [Steve would take out a bill]. I’m throwing it away. [he would crumple it and throw it to the ground].” His delivery and style was superb, and we never tired of this bit.

    Although this character was not based specifically on any New Yorker, it is not too far from how many New Yorkers appear to treat money. The incredibly high cost of business rents in tandem with incomes that are typically higher and the incredible convenience of services and goods all conspire to develop a very cavalier attitude by many New Yorkers concerning money. This leads to outrageous statements like “Their food is ridiculously cheap. Salad is only $7.95 a pound,” or paying more for a product because you are too lazy to cross the street and go to a supermarket.

    Recently, a friend and I noticed small pieces of Divine Organics Raw Chocolate Brittle for $10.89 each in a local natural foods store. We are never daunted by prices in the city, and extreme examples abound and surround us. Nonetheless, we found this product at $10.89 for a 1.6 ounce piece so outrageous (that’s $108.90 per pound), it has become a source of amusement whenever we see it.

    I’ve been to places, and perhaps you have also, where the value of money is taken very seriously, where even a dollar or 50 cents means something. I once ate at a diner in rural Maine where I asked for a substitution in a dinner platter. Since something of lesser cost replaced something of greater cost, the waitress actually volunteered a price reduction of some cents. I can’t dream of such a scenario in New York City.

    New York City is a seductress, with the sirens of convenience ready to lure you in. If you crash upon our shores, the easiest way to spare your life is with money. Just tell the sirens, “I don’t care about money. I throw it away. In fact, here’s some money now. I’m throwing it away.” 🙂


  • Ultimate Dream Machine

    Flying has always been a metaphor for me. In Umbrella and Chevy, I told of my childhood passion reaching the point where I resorted to jumping off my family’s Chevy with an umbrella, hoping for an uplifting experience but only getting a slower descent. Later in life, I did take a few flying lessons, but helicopters remained the impossible dream.

    The helicopter is the ultimate vehicle of transport – they are the most versatile vehicles in existence, giving complete access to three-dimensional space. They can fly virtually anywhere and can hover. However, there is a price to pay. These machines are very complex, difficult to fly, noisy, and require constant maintenance. It is possible for these aircraft to even vibrate themselves apart. In short, they are man’s triumph of brute force over nature. And expensive for all concerned.

    I was only in a helicopter once in Hawaii for a brief flight into the Kalalau Valley on the Island of Kauai. This was the ultimate adventure for the tropics lover – a pristine area of an extraordinary island in the Pacific accessed by man’s ultimate vehicle. The trip was short and expensive but exhilarating. The cliffs of the Na Pali coast on the north shore of Kauai are one of the world’s most beautiful natural spectacles. The only surprise – and disappointment – was the incredible noise. Hearing protective headsets were given to us at the beginning of the flight.

    So what better method of exodus and entrance to the crowded New York City metropolis than by helicopter, the only vehicle that can go from any point outside the city to the heart of Manhattan itself without suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous traffic? I once heard Bill Gates speak in Manhattan. As we waited his arrival, we were informed that he was being delivered via helicopter. Other major VIPs such as Donald Trump and the mayor are well-known for their use of helicopters, the ultimate transportation luxury. When the Concorde was flying into New York City, the flight included transport to and from the airport via helicopter.

    I journeyed to the VIP Heliport with a friend who is the only person I know who has traveled into the city by helicopter. I made a special trip specifically to 30th Street and the Hudson River for this story. Apart from the greenway along the Hudson River, it is rare that anyone would be this far west in this part of the city.

    At times, in spite of my love for this city, I do get island fever, and the island of Manhattan feels like a prison of sorts. At those times, in spite of noise, vibration, and danger of being in a complex contraption built by men using brute force over nature, I still fantasize about being picked up on the roof of my building and swept away in the ultimate dream machine 🙂


  • Juxtaposition

    There are some neighborhoods that the visitor to New York City will likely never see and residents outside those neighborhoods will likely never visit either. Brownsville, East New York, Bedford-Stuyvesant, and Bushwick are among them. These places often serve as bragging rights for those who grew up there. Surrounded by these neighborhoods is Broadway Junction.

    I was literally stopped in my tracks – the tracks of a confluence of trains and a massive, hodgepodge conglomeration of structures with every disparate element imaginable – different colors and materials embellished with chain link fences crowned with barbed razor wire.
    This is Broadway Junction, where East New York Avenue, Broadway, Jamaica Avenue, Fulton Street, and Interboro Parkway pass, along with subway stations for the A, C, J, L, Z, and the Long Island Railroad.

    Nearby, at 1520 Herkimer Street, I happened across the Calvary Free Will Baptist Church. A perfect addition to the ultimate juxtaposition…



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